The 7 Year Old Baby I'll Never Hold

Today, out of the clear blue, it just occurred to me that my first baby would be turning 7 years old this month!  7 years old!  I cannot believe it's been that long.  I remember finding out we were going to have a baby.  I remember the joy that was in my heart.

I was 14 weeks pregnant.  It was most likely one of the most awful, horrible turning points in my life.  Up to that point, I tried to do everything perfect... living by all the rules.  At that point in my life, I was trying to live such a righteous life.  I would not speed because breaking the law was sinful.  I wouldn't listen to anything but Christian music.  I wouldn't do anything I wasn't supposed to do.  When we lost our baby, I was angry.  I didn't understand and I still don't.  Why would God let our baby die?  We were going to love and take care of that baby and provide the most loving, Christ-centered home we could.  Why? 

I went through months of depression, months of anger, months of not understanding.  Why is it that I could look around and see people with babies in the store with no clothes on... they deserved that baby?  Why did people who were selling drugs have babies?  Why did teenagers who didn't want to get pregnant have a baby and I couldn't?  It didn't make sense.

The truth is, it still doesn't make sense and I still don't understand.  I'm sure I never will, at least on this side of heaven.  I learned a lot through that experience.  I learned that God doesn't ever tell us that life will be perfect.  He doesn't say bad things won't happen.  What He does say is, "I'll be with you through the storms of life" and "I will never leave you or forsake you".   That's reassuring because I wasn't very nice after we lost our baby.  I was grouchy and angry, yet God was big enough to handle me.  He knew what I was feeling.  I was His child, weeping, crying out to Him and He was there.  I tried to distance myself - like a teenager angry at her parent - locking myself in my bedroom.  Trying to be as far as I could without completely letting go. 

I know there have to be many of you who've had a similar situation.  Some of you have lost more than one baby, some have you have lost 5 or 6 or more.  I don't understand it, but I want you to know that God does.  He's not doing this to punish you or because you're a bad person.  He's there holding you.  Just fall into His arms and know that one day, if you're a Believer, you'll get to see that baby!  I wonder if our baby would have looked more like Andy, dark hair and dark eyes.  One day, one day, I'll know.  Until then, I cling to the hope we have in Christ. I rest in the freedom I found in Him through the loss of our sweet baby.  Today, I no longer feel like I have to listen to Christian music.  I listen to it because I love to praise Jesus!  I don't feel like I have to do anything to please Him!  I want to please Him because of my love for Him, for who He is, because He is my perfect, loving Father who knows the heartaches and joys of His children.

Jesus, I love you.  Thank you for holding me through my storms.  I thank you for the three beautiful children you've given me in the last 5 years.  I pray for those reading this who have lost their sweet babies.  I pray that you would comfort them and help them to draw closer to you through their trials.  God, please help them to know that you are near.

Moms On A Mission!

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. - Deuteronomy 6:7

I will admit it, I am a very "black and white" person.  There is very little grey in this world of mine.  Things are supposed to be one way or the other.  There are very few times when I find "excuses" acceptable.  I know, that sounds so harsh, doesn't it?  The truth is though, that sometimes we need to be reminded of this when it comes to the Bible.

The Bible is not grey.  It's black and white.  It's the most perfect book, instructing us how to live and carry out our lives in this crazy world. 

I've been reading more from A Mom After God's Own Heart: 10 Ways to Love Your Children.  I love this book.  It's reminding me of something I've said over and over in my life.  If God or the Bible tells you to do something, then do it.  It's not a suggestion.  It's a command.

Wouldn't it be nice if being kind to someone who was rude to you was optional?  Wouldn't it feel good to get the vengeance yourself when someone wrongs you?  But the Bible says that we are to turn the other cheek and that the vengeance belongs to the Lord.  These "rules" are not optional.  When the Bible says "Go and make disciples", it doesn't say "If you feel like it today and you can squeeze it in your schedule mention my name to someone".  It says GO and TELL! 

So, here's something I read this morning from  A Mom After God's Own Heart: 10 Ways to Love Your Children.

"As a mom, there is no one you love more on this earth than your children.  And teaching your children about God and His ways is not optional.  God is assigning and authorizing you to teach His Word to your children steadily and purposefully, all day long, everyday at home... and everywhere else.  You're a mom on a mission!  Therefore, instructing those you love most in the things of the God you love supremely should be - or become - a passion and a pleasure."

There you have it.  It's not optional.  We are teach our children about the things of God.  Maybe it's hard for you.  Maybe you don't feel like you know enough yourself.  Maybe your children are older and you think they're going to look at you like you're crazy.  Well, the good news is, if God tells you to do it, He's going to help you through it!  He is perfect in His wisdom so therefore, you can ask Him and He will guide you. 

To finish off, here's a poem that I found in the book as well and wanted to share with you.

Whatever you write on the heart of a child

No water can wash away.

the sand may be shifted when billows are wild

And the efforts of time may decay.

Some stories may perish, some songs be forgot

But this graven record - time changes it not.

Whatever you write on the heart of a child...

Will linger unchangeably there. 



Start today.  If you haven't before, just tell your child that Jesus loves them!  That's a great way to begin!  That's the good news everyone needs to hear!  And don't forget, we are moms on a mission!

Forgiven

There's a long train of thought that goes into how I got to this point... but I won't bore you with that.  I just got to thinking about heaven and all the people we'll meet when we get there.  Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, all these amazing saints.  Then I started thinking about all these amazing people in the Bible like Moses and David and it occurred to me that maybe I needed to write to let you  know something.

Did you know that Moses, who floated down the river in a basket to the Pharaoh's daughter, Moses who God spoke to in the burning bush, Moses, who led the people out of Egypt,  Moses, who received the 10 Commandments on Mt. Sinai... did you know he was a murderer? 

Exodus 2:14
The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.”

Did you know that David, who fought and won against Goliath, David, who was Johnathan's best friend, David, who was the great Psalmist, David, the king, was an adulterer? 

Psalm 51:1
When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

I'm not telling you these things today because I want to point out the flaws of these great men.  I'm telling you these things as a reminder that God can use YOU!  He can use anyone for that matter.  These men did some pretty bad things, but they were forgiven and used in amazing ways by God.  And, God can use you, no matter what you've done or where you've been.  I just want you to know that you cannot do anything that is too big for God to forgive! 

The Bible says in Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  We just have to ask. 

Aren't you thankful for that today?  God is perfect, and He forgives! 

Are Your Children Being Impressed?

God laid this on my heart today and I've been thinking over it.  This weekend has been very fun and very busy, but still, as I come home from all the chaos, I am reminded of this verse:

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

Deuteronomy 5:6-7

This week I'm going to try to focus on the "Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up". 

This week, how can I and how can you impress on the hearts of our children to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength?" 

They learn from watching us.  They see us.  They see how we serve others.  They see our love for Jesus.  They see our desire to be in church.  They see the way we live. 

Each day at breakfast this week, we're going to talk about how to love Jesus more  and I challenge you to try this too.

To see more posts from this Misty, click HERE to go to the True Rest home page.

Intentional, Deliberate, Precise Prayers for Our Children! Are you praying for their future?

Adriane and Me
(I think I was pregnant with Katie and she was pregnant with Evie)

Here lately I've been thinking a lot about my kids.  I get so tired and so stressed and I have days where I feel like all I do is yell at them.  Don't jump off of that; Don't hit your sister; Don't talk to me that way; No, you cannot have another snack!  Do you know what I'm talking about? 

For the last several days I've been trying my hardest to be more patient with them, to listen more to them, to spend more time with them and to spend more time praying for them. 

Do you pray earnestly for your children?  Do you pray with intentional prayers?  I have been thinking about and praying for my kids and their futures since before they were born.  Who will they marry?  What will they become?  God knew them before they were ever conceived.  He knows what their futures will be, but I don't.  As their mother, all I can do is pray that God's will would be done in their lives.  I have always prayed for my children and prayed for their salvation and prayed for their future mates.  However, I found something today I wanted to share with you.

I have this friend.  Her name is Adriane.  She is a wonderful, godly, wife to Matthew and mother to 7 boys and 1 sweet girl!  (And a wonderful friend.)  Several years ago, Adriane and I exchanged prayer lists so we could pray for each other's requests.  Today I was cleaning out a drawer and I found Adriane's prayer list.  As I read it, I got teary.  There's a whole section of prayer requests for her children.  I want to share this with you because I want you to pray for your children like this, too.  It's intentional, it's deliberate and it's precise.  These are the the ways we prayed for her children:

• For their salvation and that they would love the Lord with all their heart, mind and soul.
• That they would be free from addictions of any kind.
• That they would be kept physically safe from anyone who tried to harm them.
• That they would be pure.
• That they would have strong marriages and that none of them would have to suffer the pain of divorce.
• That they and their spouses would be pure and holy.
• That they would be willing to die for their faith, but never have to.
• That they would have safety and good health
• That they would love their neighbors as themselves.
• That every child and generation that comes from her womb would be saved.
• That they would collectively reach millions for Christ.

Wow!  Sometimes we get caught up in the day to day!  Sometimes we focus on all the things our kids do that annoys each other or how many times they've jumped off the couch.  I am not saying those things are good.  As godly parents we should discipline our children.  But, each day, we need to take time as their mothers, to remember these blessings we've been given.  We need to nurture them, praise them, encourage them and pray for them as if they were the next Billy Graham or the next Hudson Taylor.  Our jobs as mommas is to love them and raise them for their future.  Love them today for who they are and pray intentionally, deliberately and precisely for what they will become! 

The Circus I Made

This is me... I'm going to wear down soon and just fall over wherever I'm at!

I don't know why I do this to myself.  Why do I make my life like a circus?  Here's what this week entailed:

• Blogging for 35+ hours.
• Taking care of 3 children who may or may not have been sick still.. puking was involved.
• Desktop computer crashed.
• Because the computer crashed we lost our very expensive software for the funeral home.
• Ordered new software and spent quite a while on the phone with the company installing it.
• Because of the computer crash, have had to manually make all of our funeral folders which takes a long time.
• Vacation Bible School: Music, Missions and helping with 5th and 6th graders.  Driving 30 miles to church and 30 miles home from church every night after VBS.  Because of other circumstances also spent most of the day there on Saturday and Sunday.
• Relay for Life is this Saturday so we had an early morning meeting this week and I've been emailing and calling and getting as many things ready as I can.
• Working on the church clean up flyers... we need people there to help.
• We have been sooo busy at the funeral home.  I am not complaining because that's how we afford to live, just unusually busy.
• It's only Friday.  The actual Relay for Life is tomorrow night from 6am to 6pm
• Get up on Sunday after having no sleep, take shower, teach Women's Sunday school class and then have VBS Family Day.  Work in the nursery on Sunday night.

Now, I'd like to tell you that this is just an unusually busy week for me and in some ways it is, but in other ways, it's not.  I am always, ALWAYS running full steam ahead.  THIS IS WHY I GET SO WORN DOWN!

Have you ever heard someone say, "It's okay to say, No!"?  I have heard it, I guess I just don't listen well. 

I was having some quiet time this morning and read in a book "Start Saying No".  It said that God's Word empower us when we read it and it gives us strength, but sometimes we have to say no to things. 

I am not called to be Super Mom, Super Wife or Super Christian.  I am not called to be the person who does everything while other sit and watch.  I am not called to run this circus I've created.  I am called to do my BEST in what God has called me to be and do and to do my best in the time He has given me.  Sometimes we get so busy serving Him and serving others that we forget to find rest in Him!  I am tired and I am weary.  I am going to try soooo hard next week to find rest in Him!  Maybe you're tired too.  If so, I hope you'll join me next week in rest!  I think we need it.  Next week, I'm going to let God be the ringmaster instead of trying to do so much in my own strength!  Consider this verse as you think about resting. 

Psalm 116:6-8

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁶ The LORD preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.
⁷ Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

⁸ For You have delivered my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
And my feet from falling.

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A Mom After God's Own Heart - 10 Ways to Love Your Children

Summer reading!  I decided this summer that I'm going to try to read every day, even if it's just for a few minutes.  Reading is good for your mind and as long as it's the right kind of book, it's good for your heart!

If you follow one of my other blogs, namely The Frugal Family, I wrote that I was going to read A Mom After God's Own Heart: 10 Ways to Love Your Children (George, Elizabeth (Insp)).  If you're interested in getting a copy of this book, you can click on the link to order it from Amazon (I don't make money from this because I live in Illinois), you could see if your library has it or I bought mine at the Family Christian Stores in Champaign, IL (near TJ Max and Toys R Us).  I hope you can find it at your library because it's free that way! 

I hope as we start to read this book together, that God teaches us more about loving our children and desiring to have a heart just like God's.  I love my children soooo much, but I can be a better parent to them by following God closely and desiring a heart like His. 

True Rest

Wow!  What am I doing?  Starting another blog?  How restful is that???  LOL!  I  know, I am not one who finds rest easily, but I'm learning.  After years and years of running on empty, I'm nearly there.  I am tired, weary and drained.  Have you ever felt that way?  I have this desire to fill up.  It's kind of like when you're parched... so thirsty you can't stand it!  You desire refreshment!  That's how I have been feeling.  I need to be refreshed!  I need rest.  True Rest! 

When I say True Rest, I'm not talking about a nap.  I mean that I need to learn to rest in the Lord.  Matthew 11:29 says, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Boy, do I need that.  I get too busy.  Busy with life, busy with blogging, busy with church, busy with kids and home and family and everything else.  I sometimes forget what it's like to rest.  To truly rest, in Jesus. 

If you're one of my readers on The Frugal Family, this blog will be very different.  I'll post occasionally, no need to make myself tired, right?  I plan to post when I feel God has laid something on my heart to share or when I've read a great passage of Scripture I want you to hear. 

I  hope you all enjoy this blog.  I am looking forward to sharing the True Rest with you that comes from Jesus!